January 29, 2009

Plan C: Let's Be Movie Writers

Posted by C. Angelo

I'm in LA trick!
..Hollywood..Hollywood!

As of late the movies that have consistently drawn the most people have been comedies. Why you ask? Because people want to momentarily step away from their stressful 'real world' jobs and just be able to laugh and enjoy themselves. Since I am literally in my own 'Great Depression', why can't we help each other out? Why can't I write a comedy of my own and make a eleventy million dollars? Ask yourself: Why can't I be like Ben Affleck?

When I watch movies like Old School, Anchorman, or Speed 2: Cruise Control, I think: "Wow, this must be the dream. Talking and saying stuff out of your ass, everyone thinks its hilarious and on top of that you get paid for it". I mean it can't be that hard. All I need is a pen, paper, and some baby oil.

Here are some movie scripts in the works. Our lives are a big joke as it is already. Case in point...

"Chris and Mike's Sister Make a Porno"

Mike: (Opens the door) What the FUCK are you doing??
Chris: Whaaattt?? Duuuude whaaat??
Mike: Dude!!
Chris: Give me a break, I'm working out. (silence) OK!.. I'm doing my cock pushups...
Mike: ..the eff is a cock pushup??
Chris: Ughh... It's when you fuckin lie on the ground and then you let your boner lift you up off the ground. (does a cock pushup) Yeeeah.. one is all you need.

"Alan Chang: 40 Year Old Virgin"
Randy: I'm hungry, I think I want a 6-inch sandwhich.
Alan: Ha! You want a 6-inch... you're gay.
Randy: How does me wanting a 6-inch sandwhich make me gay?
Alan: You know how I know you're gay?
Randy: How? How do you know I'm gay?
Alan: You like Death Cab for Cutie
Randy: You know how I know you're gay?
Alan: How?
Randy: Your're A VIRGIN!

See?? Shits easy.


*this has been collaboration with http://www.randyreyes.blogspot.com/

 

1 Comment:

  1. Randy said...
    January 29, 2009 at 7:37 PM  
    adam brody (seth from the oc) started acting in sort of the same way. he used to work at blockbuster, watch movies and think "shit i could do that" and yea now he's an awkward fast talker in the movies.

    also, we should do a superbad. although we can buy alcohol, so it'd be us trying to score chicks. we might as well tape our lives then.

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